What a Show

how do we proceed?
I don't know what to say.
how to why? why then?
who with the why?

I am always making excuses.


no it's not
wonderful...suspense. what
the fuck? why can't I even
get a story. why don't I have a
story? who happened here...
there's always something wrong.
not to impress - why the need to impress -

         constantly embarrassed
I'm not a story maker.
why do I always - always.

so much selfishness between us.

          loathing of me.
               loathing me -
                         funny.

I wish I was always on your
mind.

how do I change this one woman show?